I’ve only done a few posts on Alexander Hamilton, but hopefully it is enough to see the complexity of an incomparably talented man who was all too human. His dueling partner/opponent, Aaron Burr, was very much the antithesis of Hamilton – brooding, private, scheming (I guess that’s not far from Hamilton on the last count).
As I read the end of the book, I began to loathe Burr. He seemed arrogant and just generally repulsive. But then there was a note reminding of his tremendous heartache, losing most of his family that was dear to him as a child, including, if I remember correctly, his grandfather Jonathan Edwards (what an incredible heritage!).
I try not to do it, but I’m not sure it is totally avoidable, but do you ever judge motives of others, thinking you know why they’re doing what they’re doing? I vaguely remember a reminder by Eugene Peterson on spiritual direction. It was basically a reminder that the only one who knows the whole story of the one you’re interacting with is God. It is the duty of the pastor, and of any friend, really, to be humble in working with them. We don’t know the whole story.
I don’t know what to do with this, but to remember it as I interact with people and counsel them, remembering to point them to God.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Sabbatical #10: "I charge you to remember that you are a Christian"
Alexander’s life had its share of heartache, including the loss of his eldest son in a duel and the mental breakdown of his eldest daughter. Knowing his wife may have to endure another loss, including the loss of her mother, Hamilton wrote the following after noting he would not shoot Burr in the duel:
How has/can “remembering that you are a Christian” affected your decisions?
“This must increase my hazards and redoubles my pangs for you. But you had rather that I should die innocent than live guilty. Heaven can preserve me and [I humbly] hope will, but in the contrary event, I charge you to remember that you are a Christian.” (Chernow 697)He wanted to remind her to take solace in her faith and the hope of their reunion. Eliza was a strong believer who worked diligently to care for widows and orphans (see James 1.27). He encouraged her to let her faith guide her through difficult times.
How has/can “remembering that you are a Christian” affected your decisions?
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Sabbatical #9: A Father's Advice
In a note to his son prepared a few days before his duel with Aaron Burr, Hamilton said, “My dear James, I have prepared for you a thesis on discretion. You may need it. God Bless you. Your affectionate father. A.H.” (Chernow 692).Hamilton’s gifts were unprecedented, but he could not control his tongue. Sounds like the wisdom of James.
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. 13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:1-18)A good reminder for all of us.
Sabbatical #8: I had no idea … the greatness and tragedy of Alexander Hamilton
Do you ever read a book, knowing how it ends, but you read it with the hope that the end will change. I can’t remember the last book, except when I read the passion accounts, where I have been so near tears as the life of Alexander Hamilton as written by Ron Chernow. It has been fascinating. I still haven't finished my notes on the conference, but this biography was powerful enough that I need to get some thoughts down on it.
I didn’t know we were so indebted as a nation to his work during the birth of our nation. He build the infrastructure for much of what we enjoy as a nation, particularly the economic aspects. He was amazingly gifted and rose from obscurity in the West Indies to the heights of government, gaining the confidence of George Washington. He wrote voluminously, but he was unable to govern his passions publicly and made many enemies – both parties wanting what was best for the nation, but the distrust and ugliness of politics was amazing.
There are times in his life where you absolutely loathe Hamilton (like his year long affair despite his wonderfully faithful wife, Eliza) and his willingness to smear his opponents, though he would not overlook a slight against his person. He also didn’t know when to stop and he could not control his tongue/pen, particularly after Washington had retired to Mount Vernon. Washington did much to restrain his amazing aide.
But Hamilton was above reproach in his financial dealings in an era where that could not be said of all public officials. And, despite his painful (and embarrassingly public) affair, his love for his family was tremendous. I’m alone in Milwaukee and I think it is the picture of the tender Hamilton saying goodbye to his family in writing (they didn’t know he was going to duel) before he went to his fateful duel with Aaron Burr. An orphan himself, Hamilton held an orphan child they were taking care of until the boy fell asleep on his lap – where they slept for a little while together. What a tender picture of a great man.
Hamilton had little use for faith for much of his life, but in his later years his faith seems to be genuinely warm, which obviously endears him to me all the more. He hated dueling – partially due to his faith, but was bound by the fact that to back out would hurt his honor that he may need in case of a crisis of civil war that he feared with Jefferson as president. To maintain his honor he planned to shoot his first bullet in the air. Burr shot to kill and succeeded.
It was tragic, particularly the pain it caused to his wife and seven children. What a shame that such a great man, who seemed to put his personal life in order during his later years, had his life tragically cut short.
I didn’t know we were so indebted as a nation to his work during the birth of our nation. He build the infrastructure for much of what we enjoy as a nation, particularly the economic aspects. He was amazingly gifted and rose from obscurity in the West Indies to the heights of government, gaining the confidence of George Washington. He wrote voluminously, but he was unable to govern his passions publicly and made many enemies – both parties wanting what was best for the nation, but the distrust and ugliness of politics was amazing.
There are times in his life where you absolutely loathe Hamilton (like his year long affair despite his wonderfully faithful wife, Eliza) and his willingness to smear his opponents, though he would not overlook a slight against his person. He also didn’t know when to stop and he could not control his tongue/pen, particularly after Washington had retired to Mount Vernon. Washington did much to restrain his amazing aide.
But Hamilton was above reproach in his financial dealings in an era where that could not be said of all public officials. And, despite his painful (and embarrassingly public) affair, his love for his family was tremendous. I’m alone in Milwaukee and I think it is the picture of the tender Hamilton saying goodbye to his family in writing (they didn’t know he was going to duel) before he went to his fateful duel with Aaron Burr. An orphan himself, Hamilton held an orphan child they were taking care of until the boy fell asleep on his lap – where they slept for a little while together. What a tender picture of a great man.
Hamilton had little use for faith for much of his life, but in his later years his faith seems to be genuinely warm, which obviously endears him to me all the more. He hated dueling – partially due to his faith, but was bound by the fact that to back out would hurt his honor that he may need in case of a crisis of civil war that he feared with Jefferson as president. To maintain his honor he planned to shoot his first bullet in the air. Burr shot to kill and succeeded.
It was tragic, particularly the pain it caused to his wife and seven children. What a shame that such a great man, who seemed to put his personal life in order during his later years, had his life tragically cut short.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Sabbatical #7: The Challenge of Silence
My first experience with silence at Starbucks was nice. I’ve done it a couple times since in my hotel room where it was quieter – no disco or Latin music. You’d think it would go better, but it was much more difficult to sit and be un-agenda-ed with God. The silence magnified the challenge of waiting for God on His timing. It was an awkward silence.
I think real silence is preferable, but it will take some growing on my part for this to no longer be “awkward.” When I think about it, I really don’t cultivate silence. I like music on, or TV on, or some kind of noise. I’m addicted to noise.
I’m reading Hearing God by Dallas Willard. I’ve read it before, a few years ago, but I still haven’t lived out the sub-title: “Developing a Conversational Relationship with God.” I think, at least at the learning stages, I need to get used to hearing His voice in quiet before I learn to discern it in the jumble of life.
Suzanne and I have been watching Ultimate Fighter over the last couple weeks. (OK, I watch most of it and she pops in from time to time, but leaves for most of the fights). I started watching because I saw an old high school wrestling teammate was one of the coaches (Jens Pulver). Suzanne asked how they could hear the directions from their coaches while they were fighting and all the hollering that was going on. I don’t know how it works for the guys in the octagon, but when I was wrestling, I could pretty well tune things out and only hear the voices of my coaches. I trained my ear to hear them.
I think that’s what I’m trying to do in terms of God’s voice. My goal isn’t to be a monastic that spends hours of silence each day. Rather, I want to be acquainted with His voice like that of a companion through the struggles, and joys, of everyday life.
I won’t summarize Willard’s book – I usually fade about 2/3 of the way through in such enterprises (see the Reformission posts on Driscoll’s “Radical Reformission”). But where I am now in the book makes a good point that if God is speaking specifically to us we should be looking for it. Just because He’s speaking doesn’t mean we’re in a posture to hear. We need to be aware. We need to cultivate an ear that hears.
How do you cultivate an ear for God’s voice?
Can you hear Him amid the din of life?
Perhaps more primary, do you want to?
I think real silence is preferable, but it will take some growing on my part for this to no longer be “awkward.” When I think about it, I really don’t cultivate silence. I like music on, or TV on, or some kind of noise. I’m addicted to noise.
I’m reading Hearing God by Dallas Willard. I’ve read it before, a few years ago, but I still haven’t lived out the sub-title: “Developing a Conversational Relationship with God.” I think, at least at the learning stages, I need to get used to hearing His voice in quiet before I learn to discern it in the jumble of life.
Suzanne and I have been watching Ultimate Fighter over the last couple weeks. (OK, I watch most of it and she pops in from time to time, but leaves for most of the fights). I started watching because I saw an old high school wrestling teammate was one of the coaches (Jens Pulver). Suzanne asked how they could hear the directions from their coaches while they were fighting and all the hollering that was going on. I don’t know how it works for the guys in the octagon, but when I was wrestling, I could pretty well tune things out and only hear the voices of my coaches. I trained my ear to hear them.
I think that’s what I’m trying to do in terms of God’s voice. My goal isn’t to be a monastic that spends hours of silence each day. Rather, I want to be acquainted with His voice like that of a companion through the struggles, and joys, of everyday life.
I won’t summarize Willard’s book – I usually fade about 2/3 of the way through in such enterprises (see the Reformission posts on Driscoll’s “Radical Reformission”). But where I am now in the book makes a good point that if God is speaking specifically to us we should be looking for it. Just because He’s speaking doesn’t mean we’re in a posture to hear. We need to be aware. We need to cultivate an ear that hears.
How do you cultivate an ear for God’s voice?
Can you hear Him amid the din of life?
Perhaps more primary, do you want to?
Friday, June 8, 2007
Sabbatical #6: Sabbatical Plans Changing?
My plans during this sabbatical were to get away and spend extended time with God. My relationship seems pretty dry and mechanical at this point. I’m certainly not in a place I want to lead from. So I was looking forward to slowing down and spending that time with God to re-connect and rebuild some of those areas where I feel I’m deficient.
But as I have been going to sessions and dealing with my propensity to be alone and lack of deep relationships, I’m troubled. And I wonder if I don’t need to re-shape my plans to spend more time with people. Since there’s plenty of family time, some of that will be natural. But it is probably something I need to build better into my life, particularly a “spiritual friendship” and/or “spiritual mentorship.” I don’t even know exactly what they look like, but I feel like I’m missing them and I need them badly.
But this isn’t an either/or thing. I spent some solitude time at Starbucks today. The goal was to be silent before God. Despite the fact that I was doing it in the midst of the disco and then Latin mix of music, it was a good time. I usually come to God with an agenda. Not this time. I just waited. I never do that. It was nice. I imagined God was in the chair across from me and I just waited. I felt like there was some things He was telling me. And then I felt the liberty to pray (not out loud, I’m in Starbucks!). It was the prayer of relationship, of conversation more than a laundry-list prayer of my needs. It felt like a relationship more than it has in a long time. Here’s the process of “Silent Prayer” suggested by my workshop leader, Mindy Caliguire.
* Set aside time to sit in silent prayer.
* Think of a prayer word that describes your relationship with God at that particular time.
* Enter this time of silent prayer by acknowledging your desire to be attentive to God.
* Sit quietly, resting in the reality of God’s presence.
* When distracting thoughts come, gently let them go. Use your prayer word to bring your attention back to God.
* At the end of your time, thank God for His presence and ease back into the activities of your day.
Practice 20 minutes twice per day.
Because discussion went so long, the details weren’t totally explained, but it was helpful to set aside 20 minutes of un-agenda-ed time. I hope this is helpful for you. It was for me, though it will be of little use if it doesn’t become a practice.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Sabbatical #5: "What do you want?"
I’ll probably only bleed out one or two posts per day to allow for more reflection for myself and you, if you’re reflecting alongside me. Last night’s message was from Dave Johnson of The Church of the Open Door in Minneapolis, MN. He spoke of his desperation, as his church was growing uncontrollably, that he didn’t have a life and that all the problems they had ignored because of their tremendous growth had come to roost. They hadn’t built the character to uphold the anointing God was giving them.
His biblical example was Samson. He was blessed time and again, but he had no character. Johnson thinks it was because he didn’t want it. Maybe didn’t think he needed it to be blessed. The foil to Samson is the Israelites as they prepare to go into Jericho. They were to be circumcised again. Not the best battle plan. But God wanted to “cut them deep,” I guess to remind them whose battle it really is.
The common theme was that this “cutting deep” would slow the Israelites down, and it slowed Dave and Open Door down. They couldn’t, and didn’t, continue at their frantic pace of growth. In fact, they were going to have to go backwards for a time to create the church that took “spiritual formation” seriously. But that was fine in his eyes because it was building character to go along with God’s anointing.
This was so good because I feel at times, in the busyness of ministry and life, that I’m “anorexic inside” (his words), in terms of Christ being formed in me. I find myself driven by my circumstances. I don’t want that. That’s why I chose this conference as part of my sabbatical. I don’t want to go through the motions as a pastor – or even as a Christian for that matter.
His closing question was this: “What do you want?”
I don’t know. I know I want to want to have Christ fully formed in me. But if an omniscient observer of my life were to judge me by my actions, I wonder what they might see that I want. Comfort? Appreciation? Approval? Who knows? I know now my prayer is that I would grow to become the person who genuinely wants to let God invade every part of my life. I need to wrestle with this a little more so I’m going to quit blogging and start journaling.
Before I go, “What do you want?”
His biblical example was Samson. He was blessed time and again, but he had no character. Johnson thinks it was because he didn’t want it. Maybe didn’t think he needed it to be blessed. The foil to Samson is the Israelites as they prepare to go into Jericho. They were to be circumcised again. Not the best battle plan. But God wanted to “cut them deep,” I guess to remind them whose battle it really is.
The common theme was that this “cutting deep” would slow the Israelites down, and it slowed Dave and Open Door down. They couldn’t, and didn’t, continue at their frantic pace of growth. In fact, they were going to have to go backwards for a time to create the church that took “spiritual formation” seriously. But that was fine in his eyes because it was building character to go along with God’s anointing.
This was so good because I feel at times, in the busyness of ministry and life, that I’m “anorexic inside” (his words), in terms of Christ being formed in me. I find myself driven by my circumstances. I don’t want that. That’s why I chose this conference as part of my sabbatical. I don’t want to go through the motions as a pastor – or even as a Christian for that matter.
His closing question was this: “What do you want?”
I don’t know. I know I want to want to have Christ fully formed in me. But if an omniscient observer of my life were to judge me by my actions, I wonder what they might see that I want. Comfort? Appreciation? Approval? Who knows? I know now my prayer is that I would grow to become the person who genuinely wants to let God invade every part of my life. I need to wrestle with this a little more so I’m going to quit blogging and start journaling.
Before I go, “What do you want?”
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